With covid-19 dominating the news, I struggle to keep from being obsessed with it. I think about the world I want when this crisis passes. In the middle of figuring it out, Ric comes to mind.
Ric was a handsome, Mexican-American friend I made in the 80’s. Ric loved people. He loved figuring out the many languages of his clients in the refugee center where he worked. He was the first truly independent thinker I knew. While I generally had an idea of where friends would stand on any issue based on their political, social, and personal beliefs, Ric always managed to surprise me. We had wonderful discussions because his thoughts, refreshing and invigorating, emerged from consideration of all sides of the issue.
Ric became one of the early AIDS cases in Austin. I don’t know how I stayed calm when he told me. We were so young. I didn’t know what to say. I knew he would likely die. We knew so little about AIDS in those days, only that it was taking so many gay men. It ravaged their bodies and stole their dignity and challenged us as a society to give a damn about people we had always shunned.
Ric continued working as long as he could. It took a while before the illness began to show. Part of that might have been that he understood the psycho-emotional part of the disease. He knew how to fight it on that ground as well as the physical battle.
I can still see him telling me about the class for AIDS patients he took on reducing stress. I can hear his smooth voice even now with only a hint of border accent and see his bright eyes and smile. He said, “It’s simple. Just always have a spare.” A spare for everything essential to daily living – toothpaste, toilet paper, bath soap. Cans of tuna and bags of rice and beans. You get the picture. It made sense. I added feminine hygiene supplies to my list of spares to keep.
When covid-19 swept across the U.S. and we had to come home and stay away from each other I had a couple months worth of toilet paper and facial tissue stashed in my house along with toothpaste, tooth brushes, soap, shampoo, conditioner, lotion. All of those personal care essentials. When hand sanitizer disappeared in the stores, I made my own from the alcohol and aloe vera gel stored in my hall closet. I had a couple weeks of food in my pantry and fridge, which seemed like enough when Ric taught me about keeping supplied on essentials. But realizing how long Europeans were having to stay secluded, I decided to increase my food supply.
Covid-19 is as mysterious and scary as HIV/AIDS was in the 80’s. I’m confident our scientists will figure it out. Still, we suffer and I grieve our losses. I hope this catastrophe, like the AIDS epidemic will expand our compassion for people we have previously ignored.
Ric will never grow old. He remains young, vital, and so very intelligent with a beautiful smile and handsome face. His loving spirit still has a place in my heart and I am thankful for his presence.
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